I have a dog

No, actually I have six dogs.....There should be a self-help group for people who have more than two dogs........

I have one dog who has an over-active bladder....she won't sleep more than five or six hours and begins to bark because she needs to pee.  I can sleep for seven hours before I have to pee.    A dog should be able to do the same.  I am tired.  Ross is tired.  You can not continue to sleep when this dog barks at you.  The dog should learn to use the toilet.

This is Gaby who is seven months old.  Gaby needs to learn that 5 am pee times are not appropriate.  Her sister, Titch, can hold her bladder for 10 hours.

My dogs like to eat.  They eat clothes, linens, trees, grass, rocks, five gallon water bottles, the fridge, bugs, dirt, money, cardboard, whatever is made of anything chewable and naturally their food.  It must be noted that when picking up poop in the yard, it is easy to find after they have consumed any colourful type of plastic.

We have the neighbours from hell.  They have 14 dogs.  Their dogs bark and howl 24/7 most days.  They are ugly dogs.  They are stupid dogs.  Our dogs hate their dogs.  You can probably see where I am going with this.  They need to join a self-help group.  This will make them and their dogs leave....permanently.

Our neighbours from hell are also deaf.  They yell, they don't talk.  They yell, their dogs bark.  They have their TV outside.  When they yell over their TV, their dogs bark and howl.  I think living close to the airport would be quieter than the volume on their TV.  They watch cartoons on Italian channels.....sometimes until midnight.  Our bedroom window faces their terrace.  I am learning Italian whether I want to or not.

I noticed that it has been two years since I blogged.  Where does time go?  Well, the obvious answer is that it flies past, and fast.  The days seem to run into each other and with our insane social calendar, life is flying by.

We are going to a Dominican Style Pig roast this week.  We have a birthday party invitation this week.  We had a going away gathering at our local colmado earlier in the week.  I have my volunteer work two half days a week.  Ross is busy trying to entertain the dogs from hell every day - Ebony Gaby and Titch are Belgium Malinois x German Shepards.  They are working dogs.  they need constant exercise and brain games or they wreck/eat things.

At some point we try and find time to clean the house.  And I forgot about the swimming pools that need to be cleaned by Ross three or four days a week (our dogs like to swim).  Oh, and there is my English Muffin sales plus a small bookkeeping job.  No rest for the wicked as they say.

About two weeks ago we had our second annual Calgary Stampede breakfast.  We showed our friends once again exactly how to have a great breakfast party.

I guess I should be grateful that our health is relatively good and we can enjoy each day.  We take the punches that this country gives us and we just keep on going.  Chin up and all that (I am learning to speak British - we have a lot of British friends.  They are learning to speak Canadian although I must admit, they don't learn very quickly).  We wake up to sunshine and warm (OK HOT) days as it is summer here.  The pool from hell keeps us sort of cool.  We are blessed with family visits occasionally.  We have great friends who offer a support network when times are tough.  We are alive and kicking!

and they sleep.......sometimes.....

Spanky’s and Shat

We found a new bar – Spanky’s.  You get free pour drinks.  My limit I think is three but who is counting.  Actually my head is pounding and not counting.  I don’t believe Ross’s limit is much different than mine.  You can attempt to play pool after a few drinks but in my case I had difficulty trying to even hit the white ball.  What a fun bar to go to though…lots of laughs.

Now as I start writing this blog, I have come to realize that I haven’t blogged for a very long time.  Now, I don’t have many blog fans but hey, someday someone might find some humour in what I wrote.

Oh, and before I forget, don’t let anyone forget that when I leave this grassy paradise for greener pastures, I want to be buried with my pruning shears! 

I have sort of a mish/mash of thoughts running through my head (might be a result of those three, free pour vodkas from last night), so bear with me…or is that bare with me…whatever.

Swimming pool - *****ing pool isn’t fixed.  Chantel messed with that little process again so we are in drying mode again.  But, that’s ok…gives me more time to cut down the shit that is growing because of Chantel.  Chantel was a bit of a disappointment…all talk, no action…LOL  We got a ton of rain, a little bit of wind and three very unhappy dogs.  The thunder and lightning was spectacular.  Some of the lightning bolts were so close to us we could feel the heat.  Guess that’s not a great thing when your electrical isn’t grounded and you have iron bars on all your doors and windows.

Rain makes things grow…you have no idea how fast things grow in the tropics.  I swear that it rains and the grass grows an inch a day…you prune something back and a week later you can’t tell you pruned.  I have also discovered that it is just about impossible to kill a plant.  I pruned back some hibiscus trees and took a couple of branches, stuck them in a pot…and they are now growing.  I’ll get my free hibiscus hedge yet…oh wait…that will have to be pruned.

I’m attempting to grow a new plant – moringa.  This will be my second attempt…Ross killed the first attempt but I have forgiven him.  Supposed to be the next plant to save the world…you can eat it, drink it, feed it to your dogs….and get this….the more you prune it, the faster it will grow…see why I LOVE my pruning shears. 

We have evil cats.  They are six months old now and may not see seven.  They have attempted to flee to the outside world but Boss and Shelby have discouraged that behavior.  I have had bathing suit strings eaten off, a bedroom screen pulled out (that encouraged a number of creepy looking bugs to move in but gave the evil cats something to do before Ross came along and killed them – the bugs…not the cats).  These cats are like crows…if it isn’t fastened down, they will carry it off and destroy it.  Their newest toy is a stick and several cardboard boxes taped together.

There are a lot of strange people in this world.  I have come to witness some of them.  When you people watch (national sport in this country – not baseball as everyone assumes), you have to seriously think ‘are they opening a Walmart here?’  And the way some of them dress…you just know that they didn’t look in a mirror before they left the house or in the case of the men…they simply don’t have a wife to correct their bad dressing behavior.  I must say that everyone has his or her story as to why they are here and it is kind of fun trying to figure out their “story” and then finding out your vision of that person was completely wrong. 

Now, I don’t like to admit I have been wrong but I’ve been proved wrong in people observation once or twice.  Oh well, shat happens…..

Now, speaking of shat…I’m still rotflmaopmp…

So, we were invited to an impromptu (well for us anyway) birthday party.  All started innocently enough.  Met up with some friends for a quick beer and then off to another bar for the birthday party.  Grown-ups drank at the bar, kids were swimming in the pool having a blast.  Little ones running around nekid…kind of cute in the nicest way…

The food (pig roast) and sides were fantastic.  The Dominicans know how to cook a pig!  I enjoyed it until someone made some comment about it being chased around the field this morning and now, here we are enjoying it…

Anyway, the shat…so one little girl (about three years old) is running around nekid…stops….gets a real serious look of concentration on her face…standing BESIDE THE SWIMMING POOL……and….out pops a poop…not a big poop…but non-the-less…a poop.  So, don’t fret, the poop didn’t make it into the pool, her dad came along and picked up the poop.  If I had had one of my dog park poop bags leftover from Canada, I would have given it to her Dad to use.

So after the pig and the poop, we were off to Spanky’s and thus my rambling thoughts.

Happy New Year

I was going to write in my blog on Christmas Day but we ended up having a really busy day of phone calls to my girls and a lovely Christmas dinner with good friends.  Then, I was going to write on New Year’s Day but that didn’t work out so well either because of the fondue with good friends, cards, and too much wine (wine will do that to you every time), so I decided that today was the day!

I looked back to see when I last blogged and can’t believe I haven’t written since September!  Now, I have to rack my brain to try and remember everything that has happened.

I found out that I am going to be a Great Auntie.  My niece, Megan, is going to have a baby in May and she is really excited.  Of course, I had to bug my brother and Megan’s mom about being grandparents!

Many of you have read about my love/hate relationship with our swimming pool.  My relationship with the pool has deteriorated again.  The pool has several holes in the bottom concrete and our pool is empty, trying to dry out so we can begin the repairs and repaint the pool.

Boss is still going to obedience lessons.  He loves to run on the beach before lessons.  He loves the car ride to and from lessons.  He does not like being told what to do.  He is a very strong dog.  He’s learned some of his commands both verbal and hand.  “Stay” really isn’t working all that well for us yet…

Ross is a stalker.  I don’t know what it is with Ross and Russian women.  We were in the grocery store shopping.  Ross doesn’t usually come with me but for some reason he decided to make the trip with me.  He was pushing the cart for me as I was getting the things on my list.  I turned to tell him something and he was gone.  I saw him pushing the cart looking at things he would never look at…shampoo, soap, tin foil…I couldn’t figure out what he was doing until I saw the “woman”…she was stunning (I don’t usually check women out).  He was following her around the store.  Finally I told him I was finished; actually I was getting tired of following him around the store.  We went to the checkouts were the “woman” was…she walked up to two of the nastiest looking old Russian men, one of who was holding a toddler…she picked up the toddler…Ross’s fantasy was crushed!

We had a Christmas tree this year.  Ross and I decided to take the plunge and decorate the house this year.  We went to La Serena (Dominican version of Walmart) to get our goodies.  We came home with a Charlie Brown artificial tree and assorted lights and decorations and I think I would have made Martha Stewart proud with my decorating abilities.  We even had some garland and lights on our door arches.  We had our usual string of lights on the outside of the house.  Boss ate the electrical cord one night so Ross had to make some repairs to the cord.  Boss ate the electrical cord a second night only this time the lights were plugged in…he doesn’t bother the electrical cord anymore.

We had another first sighting of something that just makes you shake your head and ask why.  In December, Ross and I were going to Puerto Plata.  It was raining.  Dominican’s don’t like to get wet.  Dominican’s love plastic.  Dominican’s are very resourceful in avoiding the wet and utilizing plastic.  A grown man is driving his motorbike down the highway in the pouring rain.  He has a very large sheet of clear plastic covering his ENTIRE body.  The plastic is molded over his face as he is driving down the road and all we could see was his mouth open wide as he was gasping for air.  The plastic was flapping in the wind behind him as he went down the road.  I don’t know about you but one of the first things we teach toddlers is to NOT PUT PLASTIC BAGS OVER YOUR HEAD….this guy obviously put some thought into this.

Last night we went to a Dominican birthday party.  A group of friends rented a tourist bus/van to take us all to Puerto Plata to a hall.  We were among the first to arrive.  We all got our drinks set up and were sitting around visiting.  As family of the birthday lady began to arrive, every one of them (young and old) greeted each of us individually and really made all of us feel welcome.  They love their loud music…holy but it got crazy after a while!  Lots of dancing, laughing and then the food arrived at around 9:30 pm.  I made eight dozen homemade buns to be served with the meal. 

We were served first as the guests of honor (I would have thought that the woman, Rebecca, who was having her birthday would have been served first).  They made a traditional Dominican soup/stew called sancocho.  Now, everyone who knows me really well knows how much I don’t love vegetables.  I am also not really into mystery meat.   I googled sancocho before we went so I knew what we were in for.  Good thing I did – if you are curious, and I know you are, google it!  Now, let me say on a positive note that the broth was lovely! LOL 

Today is January 3 – only three more days…50.  We’re having a dinner party with friends at favorite restaurant.  Should be a fun night and I am looking forward to it.

               

Good Times

Jarabacoa

For the first time in almost two years, we have taken a vacation on the island.  Last weekend, we travelled to Jarabacoa which is in the mountains of the center of the island.  Crazy roads driving through the mountains…hair pin curves climbing uphill and downhill. 

I almost thought I was in British Columbia.  Tall pine trees, cooler mountain air, white water rapids on the river…and then, a copse of pine trees with mango trees and palm trees!

We went with our good friends, Bruce and Mary.  We spent quality time enjoying beverages and golfing.  What an absolutely gorgeous golf course hidden in a really beautiful setting.  Very lush and green.  The quench wench drove around the golf course following us with a cooler on his scooter selling us ice cold, frosty Presidente.  The guy had everything for sale:  hats, beer, and food.  It really didn’t matter what we wanted, he would run and get it for us.

Let’s just say that I really, really suck at golfing.  And, that’s all I have to say about that.

We stayed at the Hotel Gran Jimenoa which was a very nice hotel right on the river.  So, if you have ever read my blog, you know I complain about the heat.  Well, we were in a hotel with air conditioning.  Yes, we turned the air conditioning on.  We left the air conditioning running at 18C.  We woke up at 4 am absolutely freezing.  My nose was cold.  I loved every minute of it.  Two heavenly nights of being cold and sleeping under blankets.  I think that was almost the best part of the vacation!

The hotel restaurant served good food.  Breakfast was the only meal that was so so.  The Dominicans really, really like mashed things for breakfast.  Mashed potatoes, mashed plantains, and mashed plaintains with mango and onions.  The plaintains with mango and onions was a lumpy grey/brown looking mass.  Ross was brave and tried it.  Can you say, “wall paper paste?”

This area of the island rarely sees gringo tourists and as a result, everyone speaks Spanish and very little or no English.  Good thing Bruce and Mary were with us as they both speak pretty good Spanish.  I didn’t realize how much Spanish I have learned as when we went for breakfast Monday am (no buffet), I had to order breakfast in Spanish.  I did pretty darn good because everything I ordered, we actually got what we thought we were going to get.  Can you say queso frito?  (Fried cheese is to die for!)

Ross ate beef both nights and enjoyed it.  I had chicken one night (very, very good cordon blue which they call “Gordon Blue”) and pork medallions in passion fruit the next night.  Both were fantastic.

The trip home was rather uneventful until we were approaching Moca.  The area around Moca and La Vega is a rich, agricultural area.  Large potato farms, corn farms and of course banana and plantain plantations.  We were almost at Moca when we came upon a truck hauling what we think was corn feed.  Now, when transport companies in Canada haul loads of feed, there are height restrictions, weight restrictions, proper ways of securing a load. 

 

Well, not in the Dominican Republic.  This guys load was very slowly slipping sideways.  He would hit a bump and the load would shift some more.  This was an accident waiting to happen.  We knew this was rather unusual because as the guy drove through town, even the locals were watching, pointing and laughing.  We were scared to pass the guy because we knew that if that load finally went, the truck would roll and the highway would be blocked for hours.  We finally managed to get past him.  If there ever was a time for a cold beer, that was it so we found a Colmado on the side of the road, pulled up and the dear fellow working there sold us cold beer and we carried on our way.  (No cold beverages for the driver though!)

Ticks

I hate ticks.  We have been enduring an unbearable outbreak of ticks.  The hot, dry summer has been the perfect combination for these little pests to breed.  Our dogs have been banished to outside..tough life for a dog!  They have been sleeping in our basement bedroom which isn’t so bad because they have their own ensuite.  We are going through weekly baths and tick treatments.  Try bathing a 80 lb dog that hates water.  Jack and Shelby have cooperated extremely well but Boss has his own thoughts about having a bath.  Ross has to hold him with every ounce of strength he has while I give him the bath and treatment.

For the better part of three weeks, we have been fumigating and vacuuming up hundreds of these little blood suckers.  I am so sick of tick patrol but we think we have things finally under control.

For the first treatment (we didn’t really know what to do), we packed up all three dogs in the car.  Oh, how the boys love to go for a car ride.  I think they thought they were going to the beach for a run….Oh, I don’t think so…not on my watch anyway…horses, runners….not a friggin chance.  Anyway, we head off to Judy’s Pet Lodge for a bath and tick treatment.  Upon arrival, I take Jack first to the bath area only because he is quite cooperative.  In the tub Jack goes…Ross is still in the car with Boss and Shelby.  By the time I have started back to get the next dog, Ross is being dragged across the parking lot by Boss.  Now, when we arrived at Judy’s, I had left the back window open about a third of the way so they wouldn’t bake. 

Boss can climb out of partially opened car window.

There is a Dominican family living next to Judy’s who has a number of free range chickens. 

Boss really likes to chase chickens.

Ross almost had heart failure trying to catch Boss as he chased the chickens and scared the life out of the family that lives there.  Boss is a big baby but looks pretty intimidating.  Ross is yelling at the family to catch Boss’s leash (we learned from the beach experience that it is a good idea to leave the leashes on the dogs) and they are backing up from Boss not really giving a rat’s ass that he is scaring the chickens half to death. 

I think Ross was angry…..

Our dogs should have movies made about them…..

Skateboard Park

Dead grass.

Holes dug for landmines.

What do we need?  A patio!

Two Dominican labourers (one is a golf caddy and one is an accountant) + sand + 14 bags of cement = one paved driveway pad and a patio aka skateboard park.  (Not really priceless but it is good entertainment to watch the process!)

Okay, there needs to be some explanation here.  We had a patch of lawn in the front of our house (great afternoon shade) where Boss had dug several holes and the grass would no longer grow.  We decided that it would be nice to have a small, slightly raised patio to enjoy the wind and the shade in the afternoons.  We talked to friends who suggested we use a Dominian friend of theirs who "knows concrete and is a hard worker".  So, we get a price for the patio and we decided that we would get the job done.

We decided in this process it would be a good idea to cement in the pad on our car port. 

The job is beginning to take on a life of its own now.

With the language barrier, we describe in great detail what we want the patio to look like.  The guys start the project (remember we have a golf caddy and an accountant).  Cement is not brought in by cement mixer truck nor is it mixed in a small portable mixer.  Cement is mixed by hand on the ground with a couple of shovels and a garden hose for water.  They mixed the dry sand, cement mix, kitty poop (Saleen decided the pile of sand was her new royal kitty box) and whatever else happened to be on the ground.  So, once all the cement was "poured", the remains also helped cement our street in front of the house.  Kinda like a gift with purchase.

The guys are using all the required safety equipment...flip flops, dress shoes (the accountant), one glove (a golf glove for the accountant), ball cap (caddy dude)...and Ross got the building permit (6 jumbo bottles of beer). 

The ground prep included breaking up the soil with a pick.  We only lost our propane line into the house which needed a small fitting to repair so I can use my stove again.  The guy who cut through it announced that it was "a good thing I wasn't smoking at the time".....YA THINK???

They poured cement in the dark until 9 pm last night with the light from the front of the house and a 100 watt bulb in a small lamp.  This morning we have a look at the "patio" and Ross is slightly sarcastic when he declared that he will need a 4 x 4 to walk up the patio as we insisted that the patio have a light slope for water drainage.  I think a rope on a post would be fine...he's so fussy...LOL  Believe me when I write that the patio has a good slope to it.  I think that a few additional modifications will be necessary so we aren't running downhill or climbing uphill.

The job should be complete next week...sometime...

Today, we had this brilliant idea that it would be a good thing to take the dogs to the beach for a run.  I now remember why I don't like to do this sort of activity.

The drive to the beach was uneventful.  Beautiful sunny day, nice breeze blowing, waves from the ocean not life threatening....all is good.

We get the dogs down to the water and decide it is probably a good idea to leave their leashes on.  The dogs start tearing around having a blast.  Boss decided he wasn't scared of the water after a half hour or so and once he decided it was a good idea to go in, he really didn't want to get out.

Until the guy running along the shore came along.

Do you know how fast a Belgium Malinois and a Lhaso Apso/Maltese can run and bark?  They chased down the poor guy who was now running for his life...remember how I said it was a good idea to keep their leashes on?  Yup, we managed to catch them and get control.  So, off the guy ran and he was forgotten.

Back to playing on the sand (Shelby is digging holes and rolling in it) and running in the water......

Until the Dominican riding his horse came trotting along the shore.....

Horse + Boss + Shelby + Jack = mass hysteria...I'm yelling at Ross...Ross is yelling at me and Shelby is chasing the horse down the beach with absolutely NO intentions of letting that horse get away from him.  He is a mighty horse hunter/chaser!

So, Ross hangs onto Jack and Boss...I'm now also a runner, running along the shore by the ocean, except I'm really not dressed to be an athlete...I'm wearing flip flops...and Shelby isn't listening...about a km later, the guy on the horse FINALLY realized that Shelby is chasing him...I seriously can't believe he didn't hear him barking...OMG...I'm gonna have a heart attack by the time the guy on the horse comes riding back toward me so I can catch that leash I left on Shelby.  By this time, Jack has broken away from Ross (the one km back) and he has joined me so now I have two dogs to take back.

We get back to our little piece of paradise...I drop Shelby's leash by the water bowl...the little ****** decided he is not done chasing that horse AND RUNS BACK DOWN THE BEACH TO WHERE THE HORSE IS.  I am on another run down the beach...Boss is trying to get away from Ross to run with me...Jack has made a break for it again too.....

My legs feel like jello....

Ross needs physiotherapy for his shoulders from hanging onto Boss.....

So, this time after my jog, I announce that it is time to go home.  We make our way to the car where Ross is waiting with Boss who is tied to the hitch on the car.

The ****ing horse and rider decide to make one final pass...

Boss breaks his choke chain when he leaps for the horse and rider....20 minutes later, we finally have all three dogs in the car...we are covered with sand...hot...cranky.

Time for a beer and a nap!

Water and more water

Well, it’s been an interesting couple of weeks.

Happy 65th Ross!

We had a fabulous birthday celebration at our local watering hole (Jolly Roger) on the 21st. Lots of laughs and dancing...and of course, Red Solo cups! All was good until the Bird Dance...the Dominican's were looking at us like we were on crack...all the Canadians knew the Bird Dance and jumped up and were all over that one...better response than the YMCA! And our British friends picked it really quickly and are still talking about it! We went out for dinner with good friends and then headed for one or two celebratory beverages…okay, maybe more than one or two. Actually I know that it was more than one or two...I had the hangover to prove it!

Note to self: upon arriving home at 2:30 am and fumbling for your house keys, it is very important to NOT leave your interior dome light on.

Note to self: a new replacement battery for the one with a dead cell from leaving the interior dome light on for three days is a mere $3500 RD.

Actually, there is a little more to the story…Ross…generator…booster cables…installing new battery and having the door locks pop shut when car keys are laying on the front seat…but it’s all good now…the car starts! I wasn’t here for the final battery event but I am sure that a small amount of profanity took place.

We’ve had a really rotten winter/spring, well at least by tropical standards. I know I have reported that it has been cold and rainy. We had absolutely NO idea how much rain can fall in the tropics.

Last week (Tuesday the 24th), our area got slammed with the worst rainfall and flooding in 50 years. We received 8” of rain in two hours. Some of the downtown areas were under waist deep water. People living in low lying areas lost their homes and everything in them. Unfortunately, these were some of the poorest people in the area. We can count our blessings that we live on a hill. While our yard was like a river flowing, we were dry inside. We had a very small amount of water in our basement that dried up quickly.

I learned something about gravity. Gravity effects the flow of water. So, during the torrential downpour, I had to go out and close our basement bedroom windows. Ok, so I am soaked through in less than a minute. Our pool (yes, the damned swimming pool again…) is over flowing. Upon conferring with Ross (who is in the house…warm and DRY and watching me)…we decide that it would be a good idea to pump off a few inches of water. I start the pool pump and remove the water. I yell to Ross over the din of the rainfall that I have “shut off the pump and unplugged it and when you start the pump up again you need to remember to turn the filter back to ‘filter” as I left it on waste”. He says “OK”. I come in the house, put on dry clothes. Not another thought is given to the pool or the fact the filter is set to waste.

When we get up in the morning, I look out the window. I look at the pool that is missing about 10” of water. My first thought is…we have a leak. I say to Ross…oh, oh…we have a problem. It is like he had the 100 watt light bulb go on…he says to me…oh…you left the filter on waste…the weight of the water and gravity sucked out the water overnight…so, now…yes…after 8” of rainfall…we have to ADD WATER TO THE DAMN SWIMMING POOL. Ross puts in about 5” of water and yes, you guessed it…it started to rain again and brought the level up to almost overflowing…again. No, I didn’t drain any water…we just let the wind and evaporation take over.

On Monday the 23rd, we had a lightning strike on the hill we live on. All we lost in the electrical charge was our internet antenna. Others lost computers, televisions, internet modems and so on. So by the time we figured out what was going on, it was Saturday before we were back on-line and connected with the world!

Jack and Shelby do not like thunder and the thunder crack at the same time our kitchen lit up was deafening. Scared the poop right outta me…well, not literally but it did get my heart racing!

We got word on the weekend that an elderly lady friend who lives close by fell and broke her hip. Good friends found her and got her to the hospital. She had hip replacement surgery on Monday and by all reports she is doing well and up and walking already! It’s really good to know that there is an excellent support group of expats here. We wish Irene a very speedy recovery! Our good friends Patty and Kelly who own the Jolly Roger had a bingo fund raiser to help Irene with her medical costs. Just another example of the great people who live here!

A dog with equestrian skills: Boss can now jump a four foot fence with no effort. Ross was cleaning the neighbour’s pool on Wednesday. Our good friend Stu stopped by with said battery (see above). He left Boss in the neighbour’s yard to speak with Stu. Within seconds, Boss was greeting Stu. This is the same dog that weighed about 3 lbs and was about half the size of a small grown cat when we got him. He’s now six months old and weighs about 70 lbs.

Everyone has seen a stretch limo right? Right. I have seen a stretch motorcycle (aka moto). I had to look twice. Some local dude has extended the frame, mufflers etc and the seat on this thing has got to be five feet long. I am certain that at least seven or eight people could sit on this bike along with a half dozen chickens, a couple of dead pigs and at least four 40 lb propane bottles. Ingenuity at its finest!

In closing, I have some sad news to report. In an earlier blog, I reported that the father of my oldest two children had suffered a brain aneurysm. On May 1, Dale (age 50) passed away from complications with his wife by his side. We are all heartbroken that such a young man was struck down way too early. He had made some small progress in his recovery but I guess God had bigger and better plans for him.

Besides my daughters Krista and her boyfriend Darcy and Kaylen, he leaves to mourn his wife Stephanie, his mother, Hedy, his sister Linda and her husband Larry, his brother Jim and his wife Eileen and two nieces along with many aunts, uncles, cousins and dear friends.

God speed Dale and may you rest in peace.

I am Stressed!!!!

I am stressed.

The last few days haven’t been exactly good ones.

I have decided that I am not friends with our SUV. It has seriously pissed me off. I hate fuel filters and I hate water.

So, we have been having torrential rain storms. Saturday, last week, I had to drive through about two feet of water to get out of downtown. I guess our fuel lines and fuel filter didn’t care for water much. So, the car started to run quite poorly. (Doesn’t that sound proper…guess I’m hanging with too many Brits…starting to call toilet paper “loo rolls”…..ANYWAY….Ross makes a “mechanic” call and announces that we need a new fuel filter after he has taken the old one off. This is Tuesday. So, off I scoot on the quad as now we no longer have a running vehicle. I take the old fuel filter and go to the “automotive store” and I use this term quite loosely. I have the “automotive service dude” sell me a new fuel filter of pretty, shiny, clear plastic with evidence of a paper (?) filter inside…what can possibly go wrong?

Well, let me tell you what can go wrong……….

Wednesday, Ross and I head to the Jolly Roger Bar to do our Wednesday opening. After we are done our morning, we hop into the car to go home and get stuff done before we head out to our friends for a BBQ and pyrogy dinner.

Car doesn’t start.

Gas is ALL OVER the road and running down the gutters. Dominicans are standing and pointing at the running gas…bending over to smell it….ALL WHILE SMOKING. I kindly point out the fresh gasoline and am politely told that it is “no problemo”. Okay, just blow us all up…..that’s ok.

Ross is becoming very “Dominicanized”. He pulls the blue tarp out of the car, crawls under the car (remember we are still parked on the side of the road in front of the bar) and pulls off the newly installed fuel filter which has come apart. Note: pretty, shiny plastic does not make a good fuel filter especially the ones made in the People’s Republic of China.

Off I go back to the “automotive store – God I miss Canadian Tire” to show the “automotive service dude” the defective fuel filter. I don’t speak enough Spanish so after some guy hopping on his moto and going to find someone down the road who does speak English, I finally can communicate that I need another one.

Ross installs the new fuel filter and we are good to go! Well, not really but we did drive away from the bar.

Today is Black Thursday. I drove the pissy car to work this morning because it appeared that it was going to rain again except it didn’t. I got almost all the way home and the frickin car died. I had a ten minute walk up hill (no there isn’t any snow and I wasn’t barefoot). I get home and my loving husband is looking at me panting like I was going to have a heart attack and gently asks me, “where is the car?” I wasn’t all that polite when I responded to his inquiry.

So, he determines that we probably have ANOTHER ****ing broken fuel filter. Gee…….really???????

We lock up the house and get the quad out for a trip into town to get another fuel filter. We decided that perhaps we should try another “automotive supply store”. We found a metal fuel filter!!!!!!!! YES! Our problems are solved…….

The car is running much better now….except…..

Well, we had a small issue with the quad when Ross drove it home from where the car broke down. He blew a tire…not repairable but we knew the tires were on their last bit of tread.

So, off to David Tire Store and we are now the proud owners of two new front tires for our quad….Happy Birthday Ross….lol

I am drinking beer now….and starting to unwind.