Sunday, May 6, 2018

Rats


We’ve had several encounters with rats but the battle today was the best one yet.

I was cleaning the kitchen last night and could hear strange noises. I wasn’t exactly sure where they were coming from but was sure it was somewhere by the refrigerator. It was late and I really didn’t want to investigate too closely, so I just left the noises.  

This morning, I went to make my coffee and discovered poop on my counter tops. This was not the little kernels of gecko poop that we find stuck to the walls. Yes indeed, we have a rat. I’m not sure where the little bugger is but I’m hoping at this point that the rat is a he and not a she with a family (that was our last rat incident). I also found poop inside my oven. Now, I’m getting a little concerned. There was rat poop on my new frying pan!

Ross says that we need to set traps and who am I to argue. I have some tasty morsels of chicken to load the traps with. I cleaned my counter tops with bleach and I am scrubbing everything like a crazy woman on a mission. While I am not scared of rats, I don’t like the possibility of them spreading diseases to the humans and dogs in our home. We set a trap behind the microwave and one behind the oven, leaving the oven about a foot from the wall.

I decided to bake a carrot cake to serve to friends that are coming over for coffee tomorrow. I gather all the ingredients that I need and start to mix. It is time to light the oven. I can imagine you can see where this is going. Oven starts to heat. Suddenly, I hear a loud thump and I now know exactly where the rat is.

I peek behind the oven and sure enough, there is one large, grey rat. He’s a little stunned at this point as I would imagine a 350 F oven is not a fun place to hang out. He’s having a sauna. Except this rat does not have his towel and slippers. He’s looking a little stressed out.

Ross, being the mighty hunter that he is, grabs a golf club. Meanwhile, I’m taking a picture of the rat which unfortunately did not turn out. Seven dogs are locked in the TV room as I don’t need one of them getting hit with a golf club.

I slowly slide the oven forward and the damn rat goes running across the kitchen and is now behind the fridge. Ok, enough. Time to get the ratter dogs out. Shelby is a good ratter. I also bring out my other big gun, Xena who is a Dominican Cocomutt which are also excellent ratters. Now, both dogs know that there is a rat behind the fridge. I slowly start to slide the fridge forward, Ross is wielding the golf club and the dogs are ready. We are going to get that rat!

I get the fridge far enough forward, Ross taps the back of the fridge with the golf club (there is a good reach with a golf club so you don't have to get too close) and now the rat is on the move. The rat heads straight into Shelby’s kennel. Score! Shelby heads into the kennel and grabs the rat. The rat is having none of being in a dog’s mouth so he breaks free, runs through the house into the room that Ebony, Gaby and Titch are in. This rat is not going to see the light of day. Surely the three big dogs are going to get the rat and kill it.

The rat is now behind the entertainment centre. The five dogs are going crazy trying to get at the rat.  Ross is still hanging onto his golf club. This rat is going down one way or another. Finally, the golf club comes in handy. Ross slides the golf club under the entertainment centre, gives the rat a gentle nudge and once again the rat is on the move. The rat manages to make it past all five dogs, bolt out the back patio doors and down the steps into the back yard.

The rat is gone.

I have five loser dogs that couldn’t catch one rat and a husband that packs a golf club who is taking credit for getting rid of the rat.

I am shaking my head, laughing and grateful that the rat is gone. He’s probably moved into the pool room now.

4 comments:

  1. Funny stuff! I, too, recently did battle with Roscoe Rat, but the battle consisted mostly of high pitched girl screams. Was the golf club an iron?

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  2. brilliant....you just couldn't make this stuff up ....lmfao xxx

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  3. I once saw my cat watch a rat as it made its way across the floor... I thought she'd get up at some point and investigate it... but no... maybe she's retired ;)
    Love your stories!

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  4. Wondering what happened to you?

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